CPA Exam Edition

Today my letter came from the CPA Examination Services confirming I passed the CPA exam. I had been waiting for this letter since getting the unofficial results back in June, but finally three weeks later the Examination Board finalized those results, proving that I have not been dreaming. The mill stone is no longer around my neck, and my head is no longer on the chopping block as fears of losing an entire summer to studying to make the September deadline fade into memory.

Tonight I hung that letter on the wall next to my degrees from Youngstown State and Ohio State (and my really awesome picture of myself and Karl Rove). The Youngstown State degree had not seen the light of day for almost three years, and the Ohio State degree had not been seen since graduation day 2010. I swore never to put them up until I passed, and a few years later, I can actually see what they look like now.

Coming into June, I honestly did not think I would pass this exam. I cannot sit here and tell you truthfully that I planned on breezing through this because I doubted every step of the way.

After coming out of the Financial Accounting part of the exam feeling like I completely blew it (especially since taking two months of studying nights and weekends to get prepared), I was ready to throw in the towel. I had convinced myself in my mind that I failed because never had I prepared for an exam so hard only to leave feeling like a complete failure.

After taking a month off in preparation for the May Primary and to get mentally back on track, somewhere I found some strength to come back to the studying table for Auditing. Like Rocky in Rocky III, I went back to basics after taking a severe ass kicking by a gigantic Clubber Lang sized exam. I remembered studying for accounting at YSU with my friends Hanna, Angela, Anthony, Cecil, and that entire crew and the time we put in on study guides. Study guides never failed me at YSU, and I knew they wouldn’t fail me on the CPA exam if I applied them correctly.

As an aside, I watched a lot of Rocky during May, as well as Star Wars and the Karate Kid—people doing impossible things. A steady diet of that actually can be a healthy thing.

In the end the study guides did work and Auditing turned out to be my best exam of the four. Financial Accounting was truly the shocker—75 right on the nose. As a near 4.0 student, it is the first time I can honestly say I was happy to get a score that low. If I was a bookie, the odds on my passing that exam in my books would have been 99 to 1. Somehow everything came up Mang that day in Columbus.

I do owe a lot of thanks to family and friends who have been supportive over the last two years. You all believed in me even when I did not believe in myself. We finally got there and it means a lot that you stuck by me when things did not always look so optimistic, both in respects to this license as well as things of a more personal nature. I will not forget those people, and for that (as is custom in Italian culture) there will always be that loyalty.

As another aside, there is more than one young professional in the Mahoning County Republican Party and I did it because I think it is important to have a young professional who is not a lawyer. Sorry lawyers, but there are too many of you in Mahoning County. And in that drive to get a non-lawyer young professional into the Mahoning County GOP, I did that one for my own personal satisfaction.

Of course, a great deal of thanks goes to my Lord and Savior. I may not be the best Christian, but I try to see the good in people and treat people with respect (except when I am driving and people need to be told how badly they do so). Church is important, and someday I will get back into the routine, but I have found too often some of the worst offenders of treating people with disrespect and being nasty have come from the people who refuse to miss a weekly Mass under any circumstance. It is part of why I struggle with the faith to this day.

In some strange way I need to thank Congressman Bill Johnson. We have had our differences, and we still do have our differences. But supposing the 2010 Primary went differently, I might be in Washington today without my license and looking at an uncertain redistricting plan. In retrospect and looking down the road, I might go so far to say that losing that Primary (as hard as it was to swallow) might have been the best thing after all.

But I do wish Congressman Johnson and his staff well in this year and in future years. What’s done is done.

Well, that is the CPA Exam Thank-You Edition. I will leave you with this inspiring quote from a movie we all know and love.
“I do have a test today. That wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off of people.”

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

South Park Has it Right

Perhaps it has been a little while since last writing, but I think this article is long overdue. After watching the mid-season finale of “South Park” last week, I guess Trey Parker and Matt Stone pretty much hit the nail on the head about some things I have believed for some time but really couldn’t express in words: everything is crap. To quote Randy Marsh, “It’s like the same story keeps happening every week, only it keeps getting more ridiculous”. Ignoring the double meaning of this line to the alleged ending of the show, the application of this line to life is remarkably on par to how things continue to progress today.

It amazes me that in 2011 you can learn more from a cartoon than any other program on TV (the news included because regardless of what side of the aisle you are on, it is one opinion and point of view after the other, the actual news end of it be damned). South Park, as crude and outrageous as it can be, is more culturally and politically relevant than anything else you will find on television today, and 90% of the time I usually come away agreeing with the underlying point they are trying to make.

“It’s like the same story keeps happening every week, only it keeps getting more ridiculous”.

Take your pick of topics on this one, but it holds true for everything. Politics—Anthony Weiner? That is both ridiculous and pointless, not to mention just plain sick. And he will not step down despite his sick behavior. Thanks Anthony for setting a new artificial rock bottom, because in politics rock bottom is shattered on an increasingly frequent basis. There’s one more in the book for sexual addiction. A sexually addicted male, yeah, there is a real shocker. Hate to break it to every media figure, political, athletic, or pop cultural, but wanting to have sex is not a medical condition. Rather most guys can control their impulses from doing extremely stupid things. I take that back—many guys can, because there are a lot of guys out there that do extremely stupid things and I am unsure if they are the majority or the minority anymore.

What about sports? What about LeBron James getting his own TV show to determine what HE is going to do picking his new team? You can chalk that up to narcissism and one more self-absorbed, selfish player in sports continuing the trend that we have seen over the last ten years. Plaxico Burress, Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson, Terrell Owens, yes, people I think we all aspire to seeing as great role models.

Popular Culture. I’m not even going to talk too much about this, because I think this angers me more than most. I believe it is a major contributing factor to the cultural decay and amoral wasteland of what we see here in 2011. The media since the late 90s has given people the means, abilities, and licenses to be complete assholes. Respect and courtesy is gone. The family structure has been shot to hell. There is moral flexibility in everything, especially in the professions that claim to adhere to a moral code. It is a complete joke. And as far as the quality of the mass media market, if God had any sense of pity he would come and strike us down to prevent us from seeing one more ridiculous, overblown, and low budget reality TV show.

Technology. In a nutshell, this is my feeling about technology. Yeah, it is cool, and yes, I can use it. But is there really any point? I think technology has gone beyond the point of utility and has crossed into the plane of “ridiculous”. I think the obsession with these new technological “toys” is unhealthy. It doesn’t produce anything, it doesn’t create anything, it is just some form of equipment that we stare at for hours on end.

South Park had it right. Each week things get more and more ridiculous. Sure, some of this stuff may look all glamorous and impressive on the surface, but deep down it is what it always has been for the last two decades: crap.

You can call me a cynic or a pessimist, but forgive me if I look around at the world today and am completely unimpressed with where things are heading. We may live in a small corner of the world, walking around completely oblivious to others, what is happening in our towns, and what is happening in the world, but in the rest of the world things are in complete shambles and it is a very dangerous place. And yet no one seems to know or care, and they go back to listening to their iPod.

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

Why So Serious? A Cynic's Point of View

People say I am too cynical. That is an interesting observation. Someone famous once said “I’m not cynical, I’ve been in a very bad mood for the last 40 years!” Kidding aside, I do not believe people are naturally cynical. I think all people start out as optimists; just contributing circumstances can at times make people question life.

Half the time I feel like I am diving into the shallow end of the pool, expecting there to be more to people and half expecting them to have some kind of substance behind their lives and attitudes aside from the complete superficial, take-no-prisoners-step-on-anyone-to-the-top ambition, and nasty dispositions. People today are a lot nastier than they used to be in case you haven’t noticed, but I think popular culture has given the impression that it is okay and in fact encouraged to treat people like shit—like this is now the new norm.

And alas, every time I dive into the pool expecting something different, I realize the second that I dive in that I made a mistake as my head slams against the concrete.

Unfortunately, it seems like there is no deep end of the pool, but rather the whole damn pool is shallow. You would think after the first handful of skull fractures that you would realize and accept that life and people are naturally this way: mean spirited and shallow. I am really tired of seeing the inner good in someone just to be completely wrong in the end. Or maybe I am not wrong, just sometimes that good is buried deep within a façade that cannot be broken through.

And yet, some part of me still thinks there is some good out there somewhere, which is why I keep cracking my damn head on reality every time I do something, whatever that may be. There are glimmers of hope, but my overall impression of people generally has hit an all time low.

I am not in a bad mood ladies and gentlemen. I am just unimpressed with where things have headed. I am not perfect—some of you have more than pointed that out, some of you have made a long list of everything that is wrong with me. I am not unaware of those things, I am a bigger critic than all of you combined, do not mistake that either.

I am not cynical. I am just let down. If that makes me a cynic, so be it. Most people will not get this article, but to my friends who do read it, I hope you understand.

Alex

Of New Year's Eve and 2011 Excellence

After giving it some serious thought, I have decided that when I start working again next week, I am going to dedicate $20 of each paycheck to what I am dubbing “Alex’s New Year’s Fund”. In fact, I plan on opening a new savings account for this designated purpose. So by starting work on January 10th I could plan on having roughly $1,000 at the end of the year, allowing me to fulfill my ultimate goal: get the hell out of Youngstown, OH for New Year’s. With my trusty Priceline account, I am sure I could get a decent room somewhere for a few days and still have enough for food and cover charges into bars that are actually, well, fun and most importantly, not here.

Due to a lack of steady work over the last year, this dream has not been realized, but assuming the stars continue to be aligned correctly, this issue has been resolved. I am looking forward to returning to work.

Let me say that I am not a fan of New Year’s Eve, nor really a fan of New Year’s Day. But putting present circumstances into perspective, it may not be because of the actual day rather than the lack of a good experience here at home. Here in Youngstown, I cannot recall a single outstanding New Year’s Eve where I have thought “You know, this was an awesome time and I can’t wait until next year to do it again”. The whole experience here has been mediocre at best and could explain why I dread the thought of it every year. It almost catches you up in the reality that because the experience sucks you don’t want to go out, but if you stay at home you feel even worse for it. And if you are single, God have mercy on you. Let the day end quick.

New Year’s may be phenomenal someplace else though and that fact has not escaped me, which is why I am putting together this separate savings fund. It may be a rip roaring time somewhere else, and in light of the fact this is probably 100% true, I have no intention of being here next New Year’s Eve, nor any New Year’s Eve subsequent to 2011.

But 2011 is now here, ending a rather unusual but moderately successful 2010. Here’s to better times, a successful, healthy, and fruitful new year, and a big boot to the ass of all that went wrong last year. I know I made several mistakes that I am not going to repeat again, and I hope that whatever mistakes you made you will consider making some adjustments as well. 2010 brought a lot of good, but realistically, it was a giant pain in the ass despite havings its moments.

We are all human, but as always, there is no accounting for taste.

Have a happy and most excellent 2011 everyone!

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

The Dangers of Ignoring Human Nature

Human nature is an unusual thing, though many times it is predictable. We expect people to behave as we know them to behave. Sometimes when a person is trying to act differently and when we hope the result will be different, contrary to what we hope would happen turns out to be the same predictable behavior, either out of maliciousness or because of weakness—human nature.

There is a familiar allegory out there known simply as “The Scorpion and the Toad”. For those of you unfamiliar with this story, a scorpion is looking to cross the river and comes across a toad. The scorpion calls out to the toad, asking him to take him across the river. The toad replies to the scorpion that he will sting him, and says no. The scorpion, quite persistently pursuing the toad, finally says that if he were to sting the toad, both of them would die.

The toad, a rather intelligent animal, thought about this logic for a few moments and agreed. After all, he had been pursued by the scorpion for a rather lengthy period and the reality that both would die if anything happened fit the logic that it would be okay.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the toad in the back. The toad, rather indignant but powerless now, yelled out to the scorpion “Why did you this? Now we both will die”. The scorpion responded, “It is my nature.”

Regardless of the agreement and the logic the toad used, his ignoring the nature of a scorpion in the end doomed him. Much like this example, human nature is predictable but not always logical. It can follow patterns. Someone whose nature is loyalty will rarely be disloyal. Someone whose nature is dishonesty and self servitude will rarely be honest about his true intentions or have a genuine interest in the success of anyone but himself.

Sometimes it is easy to fall into the trap of ignoring human nature, and it is when we ignore what our instincts are telling us do we truly find ourselves in trouble. It may be convenient to ignore it, or it may be presented in a way where the true nature is hidden behind a veil. It may come disguised as flattery, or it may be disguised by the promise of grandeur.

The point of this is simple: do not ignore the nature of people, whatever that nature is. If your instincts are telling you one thing, chances are your instincts are correct. Do not fall into the same trap the toad did, because what is logical is not always what is predictable.

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

The Mang's Christmas Albums: No, We are Not Ridiculing Music Here (Much)

Normally at this time of year I would criticize the musical choices of our local radio broadcasters (I will not name names Clear Channel, but you know who you are). It would not be unusual for me to take a few shots at such musical abominations such as “Happy Christmas/War is Over” and “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time”. I might even make the comment that Andy Williams needs to relinquish his monopoly on the Christmas music market and stay in Branson, MO where he belongs.

But alas, I am not going to make those comments (even though I pretty much did in that last paragraph). Instead this year I would like to point out the musical genius of a few Christmas albums that you have some familiarity with and a few you might not, just to show you I am not a heartless bastard who likes to do drive-bys on Christmas music.


"A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio (1965)

Perhaps the quintessential Christmas album. You are probably thinking it is overplayed, but the reality is only two songs on this album receive major airtime, and one is significantly cut. "Linus and Lucy" is the most frequent, and "O Tannenbaum" is the second most frequent, though the song itself has been shortened in length quite harshly.

The rest of the songs on this album are terrific, but they are heard infrequently. It is all the more reason to appreciate it as a masterful Jazz composition as well as a masterful Christmas composition. The Vince Guaraldi Trio was a brilliant group, and without the soundtrack, the show itself would not have been the same.

"A Merry Mancini Christmas" by Henry Mancini and his Orchestra and Chorus (1966)

This is an album very near and dear to my heart, and I'd say it is my second favorite album of all time. Of all of the albums listed on here, it is by far the most retro in sound, and sadly the songs on this album receive zero airtime on the radio.

Most of the songs on here are medleys, which is interesting as you do not get many medleys anymore (when was the last time you heard one on the radio?). But the transitions are flawless and the voices are very smooth. The orchestra is fantastic.

Unfortunately, this kind of album could not be produced today, as by today's standards (however unusual), this might come across as too generic. And for its brilliance, it is very simplistic and easy to listen to.

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"Christmas with the Rat Pack"

I try to avoid compilations if I can but this collection of songs by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. is probably as good of a collection as any. While it does not cover the entire Christmas selection, this album covers the highlights (though I strongly recommend you pick up their individual Christmas collections).

You may be thinking that a handful of these songs are overplayed, namely Dean Martin's "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" and "Baby it's Cold Outside". This is true, they are overplayed. However, for being played as often as they are, they are not particularly as annoying as say "Last Christmas" by Wham!

Any way you slice it, the Rat Pack is class defined.

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"Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time"

You know how I said I try to stay away from compilations? Yeah, I lied. This is a very unusual album, and occasionally these songs will find their way onto the radio. It is by its definition a novelty CD. The songs that most frequently find airtime are "Christmas Don't Be Late" by the Chipmunks and "Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy.

In a few rare instances (like today on a station that barely was coming in out of Cleveland) you will come across a song like "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" by Cheech and Chong, which is hilarious, or "The 12 Days of Christmas" by Bob and Doug McKenzie, which is equally hilarious. But outside of that, don't count on hearing any of these gems. This one is definitely worth a listen.

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"Twisted Sister Christmas" by Twisted Sister (2006)

The good, bad, and the ugly all wrapped up into one. Believe it or not Twisted Sister does some pretty decent songs on here, and at the same time they have come up with some unusually bad pieces.

This is an album you will probably will never hear on the radio, unless 93.3 or 102.9 do a special classic rock Christmas request.

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful" is hilarious as it reworks "We're Not Gonna Take It", so even though it is a Christmas song, you still come away feeling pissed off at the world.

I hope some of these albums bring happiness and joy to your Christmas season. Some are brilliant masterpieces while others bring Christmas music to the lowest common denominator.

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Enjoy!

The Mang

Conservative Capo of Youngstown

Greed and Success: Is Greed Really Good?

I have taken a little time off from writing due to work constraints: political, accounting, or otherwise. But Mang Now is going to be back with some regularity and hopefully on a weekly basis. As I am currently in the process of applying for different jobs with the State, there comes with it some downtime that lets me do some writing as well as other endeavors like studying for my CPA.

Anyone who knows me well enough will tell you I am not a fan of today. I find today’s world to be highly superficial, materialistic, impersonal, pointless, and for a lack of a better word, unsatisfying.

An evening or two ago I ended up watching Wall Street, the timeless classic that made the motto “greed is good” into a household phrase. There was an exchange in that movie between Bud and his father Carl that I think is often overlooked when considering the scope of the whole movie.

Carl: He's using you, kid. He's got your prick in his back pocket, but you're too blind to see it.

Bud: No. What I see is a jealous old machinist who can't stand the fact that his son has become more successful than he has!

Carl: What you see is a guy who never measured a man's success by the size of his WALLET!

Bud: That's because you never had the guts to go out into the world and stake your own claim!

Carl: Boy, if that's the way you feel, I must have done a really lousy job as a father.

I think that is often something we overlook today. In my opinion, greed IS good. It serves as motivation. It makes us want to do better, to be better in life. But are the words “material gain” and “success” interchangeable? That is an idea I have struggled with on a regular basis, and I think it is something a lot of people today struggle with. What I have concluded is success is all in the eye of the beholder.

To me, success is doing a job I like doing even if it doesn’t translate to making the huge dollars doing something that would make me miserable. It can be living modestly if it is with someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. Success to me is being happy.

Unfortunately, the media and society in general promote success in different ways. Making a ton of money is one way. Sleeping with as many people as possible is another. Is this an adequate view of what is success? I do not know. I will not knock anyone’s hustle, but I can point to several examples where people had attained both of those goals but were completely miserable. I have seen firsthand what financial obsession can do to a family as well.

I think what I am trying to get at here is to evaluate what is really important. Greed is good, but don’t let it define who you are as a person.

Alex Mangie
The Mang