Why So Serious? A Cynic's Point of View

People say I am too cynical. That is an interesting observation. Someone famous once said “I’m not cynical, I’ve been in a very bad mood for the last 40 years!” Kidding aside, I do not believe people are naturally cynical. I think all people start out as optimists; just contributing circumstances can at times make people question life.

Half the time I feel like I am diving into the shallow end of the pool, expecting there to be more to people and half expecting them to have some kind of substance behind their lives and attitudes aside from the complete superficial, take-no-prisoners-step-on-anyone-to-the-top ambition, and nasty dispositions. People today are a lot nastier than they used to be in case you haven’t noticed, but I think popular culture has given the impression that it is okay and in fact encouraged to treat people like shit—like this is now the new norm.

And alas, every time I dive into the pool expecting something different, I realize the second that I dive in that I made a mistake as my head slams against the concrete.

Unfortunately, it seems like there is no deep end of the pool, but rather the whole damn pool is shallow. You would think after the first handful of skull fractures that you would realize and accept that life and people are naturally this way: mean spirited and shallow. I am really tired of seeing the inner good in someone just to be completely wrong in the end. Or maybe I am not wrong, just sometimes that good is buried deep within a façade that cannot be broken through.

And yet, some part of me still thinks there is some good out there somewhere, which is why I keep cracking my damn head on reality every time I do something, whatever that may be. There are glimmers of hope, but my overall impression of people generally has hit an all time low.

I am not in a bad mood ladies and gentlemen. I am just unimpressed with where things have headed. I am not perfect—some of you have more than pointed that out, some of you have made a long list of everything that is wrong with me. I am not unaware of those things, I am a bigger critic than all of you combined, do not mistake that either.

I am not cynical. I am just let down. If that makes me a cynic, so be it. Most people will not get this article, but to my friends who do read it, I hope you understand.

Alex

Of New Year's Eve and 2011 Excellence

After giving it some serious thought, I have decided that when I start working again next week, I am going to dedicate $20 of each paycheck to what I am dubbing “Alex’s New Year’s Fund”. In fact, I plan on opening a new savings account for this designated purpose. So by starting work on January 10th I could plan on having roughly $1,000 at the end of the year, allowing me to fulfill my ultimate goal: get the hell out of Youngstown, OH for New Year’s. With my trusty Priceline account, I am sure I could get a decent room somewhere for a few days and still have enough for food and cover charges into bars that are actually, well, fun and most importantly, not here.

Due to a lack of steady work over the last year, this dream has not been realized, but assuming the stars continue to be aligned correctly, this issue has been resolved. I am looking forward to returning to work.

Let me say that I am not a fan of New Year’s Eve, nor really a fan of New Year’s Day. But putting present circumstances into perspective, it may not be because of the actual day rather than the lack of a good experience here at home. Here in Youngstown, I cannot recall a single outstanding New Year’s Eve where I have thought “You know, this was an awesome time and I can’t wait until next year to do it again”. The whole experience here has been mediocre at best and could explain why I dread the thought of it every year. It almost catches you up in the reality that because the experience sucks you don’t want to go out, but if you stay at home you feel even worse for it. And if you are single, God have mercy on you. Let the day end quick.

New Year’s may be phenomenal someplace else though and that fact has not escaped me, which is why I am putting together this separate savings fund. It may be a rip roaring time somewhere else, and in light of the fact this is probably 100% true, I have no intention of being here next New Year’s Eve, nor any New Year’s Eve subsequent to 2011.

But 2011 is now here, ending a rather unusual but moderately successful 2010. Here’s to better times, a successful, healthy, and fruitful new year, and a big boot to the ass of all that went wrong last year. I know I made several mistakes that I am not going to repeat again, and I hope that whatever mistakes you made you will consider making some adjustments as well. 2010 brought a lot of good, but realistically, it was a giant pain in the ass despite havings its moments.

We are all human, but as always, there is no accounting for taste.

Have a happy and most excellent 2011 everyone!

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

The Dangers of Ignoring Human Nature

Human nature is an unusual thing, though many times it is predictable. We expect people to behave as we know them to behave. Sometimes when a person is trying to act differently and when we hope the result will be different, contrary to what we hope would happen turns out to be the same predictable behavior, either out of maliciousness or because of weakness—human nature.

There is a familiar allegory out there known simply as “The Scorpion and the Toad”. For those of you unfamiliar with this story, a scorpion is looking to cross the river and comes across a toad. The scorpion calls out to the toad, asking him to take him across the river. The toad replies to the scorpion that he will sting him, and says no. The scorpion, quite persistently pursuing the toad, finally says that if he were to sting the toad, both of them would die.

The toad, a rather intelligent animal, thought about this logic for a few moments and agreed. After all, he had been pursued by the scorpion for a rather lengthy period and the reality that both would die if anything happened fit the logic that it would be okay.

Halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the toad in the back. The toad, rather indignant but powerless now, yelled out to the scorpion “Why did you this? Now we both will die”. The scorpion responded, “It is my nature.”

Regardless of the agreement and the logic the toad used, his ignoring the nature of a scorpion in the end doomed him. Much like this example, human nature is predictable but not always logical. It can follow patterns. Someone whose nature is loyalty will rarely be disloyal. Someone whose nature is dishonesty and self servitude will rarely be honest about his true intentions or have a genuine interest in the success of anyone but himself.

Sometimes it is easy to fall into the trap of ignoring human nature, and it is when we ignore what our instincts are telling us do we truly find ourselves in trouble. It may be convenient to ignore it, or it may be presented in a way where the true nature is hidden behind a veil. It may come disguised as flattery, or it may be disguised by the promise of grandeur.

The point of this is simple: do not ignore the nature of people, whatever that nature is. If your instincts are telling you one thing, chances are your instincts are correct. Do not fall into the same trap the toad did, because what is logical is not always what is predictable.

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown

The Mang's Christmas Albums: No, We are Not Ridiculing Music Here (Much)

Normally at this time of year I would criticize the musical choices of our local radio broadcasters (I will not name names Clear Channel, but you know who you are). It would not be unusual for me to take a few shots at such musical abominations such as “Happy Christmas/War is Over” and “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time”. I might even make the comment that Andy Williams needs to relinquish his monopoly on the Christmas music market and stay in Branson, MO where he belongs.

But alas, I am not going to make those comments (even though I pretty much did in that last paragraph). Instead this year I would like to point out the musical genius of a few Christmas albums that you have some familiarity with and a few you might not, just to show you I am not a heartless bastard who likes to do drive-bys on Christmas music.


"A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio (1965)

Perhaps the quintessential Christmas album. You are probably thinking it is overplayed, but the reality is only two songs on this album receive major airtime, and one is significantly cut. "Linus and Lucy" is the most frequent, and "O Tannenbaum" is the second most frequent, though the song itself has been shortened in length quite harshly.

The rest of the songs on this album are terrific, but they are heard infrequently. It is all the more reason to appreciate it as a masterful Jazz composition as well as a masterful Christmas composition. The Vince Guaraldi Trio was a brilliant group, and without the soundtrack, the show itself would not have been the same.

"A Merry Mancini Christmas" by Henry Mancini and his Orchestra and Chorus (1966)

This is an album very near and dear to my heart, and I'd say it is my second favorite album of all time. Of all of the albums listed on here, it is by far the most retro in sound, and sadly the songs on this album receive zero airtime on the radio.

Most of the songs on here are medleys, which is interesting as you do not get many medleys anymore (when was the last time you heard one on the radio?). But the transitions are flawless and the voices are very smooth. The orchestra is fantastic.

Unfortunately, this kind of album could not be produced today, as by today's standards (however unusual), this might come across as too generic. And for its brilliance, it is very simplistic and easy to listen to.

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"Christmas with the Rat Pack"

I try to avoid compilations if I can but this collection of songs by Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. is probably as good of a collection as any. While it does not cover the entire Christmas selection, this album covers the highlights (though I strongly recommend you pick up their individual Christmas collections).

You may be thinking that a handful of these songs are overplayed, namely Dean Martin's "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" and "Baby it's Cold Outside". This is true, they are overplayed. However, for being played as often as they are, they are not particularly as annoying as say "Last Christmas" by Wham!

Any way you slice it, the Rat Pack is class defined.

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"Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time"

You know how I said I try to stay away from compilations? Yeah, I lied. This is a very unusual album, and occasionally these songs will find their way onto the radio. It is by its definition a novelty CD. The songs that most frequently find airtime are "Christmas Don't Be Late" by the Chipmunks and "Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer" by Elmo and Patsy.

In a few rare instances (like today on a station that barely was coming in out of Cleveland) you will come across a song like "Santa Claus and His Old Lady" by Cheech and Chong, which is hilarious, or "The 12 Days of Christmas" by Bob and Doug McKenzie, which is equally hilarious. But outside of that, don't count on hearing any of these gems. This one is definitely worth a listen.

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"Twisted Sister Christmas" by Twisted Sister (2006)

The good, bad, and the ugly all wrapped up into one. Believe it or not Twisted Sister does some pretty decent songs on here, and at the same time they have come up with some unusually bad pieces.

This is an album you will probably will never hear on the radio, unless 93.3 or 102.9 do a special classic rock Christmas request.

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful" is hilarious as it reworks "We're Not Gonna Take It", so even though it is a Christmas song, you still come away feeling pissed off at the world.

I hope some of these albums bring happiness and joy to your Christmas season. Some are brilliant masterpieces while others bring Christmas music to the lowest common denominator.

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Enjoy!

The Mang

Conservative Capo of Youngstown

Greed and Success: Is Greed Really Good?

I have taken a little time off from writing due to work constraints: political, accounting, or otherwise. But Mang Now is going to be back with some regularity and hopefully on a weekly basis. As I am currently in the process of applying for different jobs with the State, there comes with it some downtime that lets me do some writing as well as other endeavors like studying for my CPA.

Anyone who knows me well enough will tell you I am not a fan of today. I find today’s world to be highly superficial, materialistic, impersonal, pointless, and for a lack of a better word, unsatisfying.

An evening or two ago I ended up watching Wall Street, the timeless classic that made the motto “greed is good” into a household phrase. There was an exchange in that movie between Bud and his father Carl that I think is often overlooked when considering the scope of the whole movie.

Carl: He's using you, kid. He's got your prick in his back pocket, but you're too blind to see it.

Bud: No. What I see is a jealous old machinist who can't stand the fact that his son has become more successful than he has!

Carl: What you see is a guy who never measured a man's success by the size of his WALLET!

Bud: That's because you never had the guts to go out into the world and stake your own claim!

Carl: Boy, if that's the way you feel, I must have done a really lousy job as a father.

I think that is often something we overlook today. In my opinion, greed IS good. It serves as motivation. It makes us want to do better, to be better in life. But are the words “material gain” and “success” interchangeable? That is an idea I have struggled with on a regular basis, and I think it is something a lot of people today struggle with. What I have concluded is success is all in the eye of the beholder.

To me, success is doing a job I like doing even if it doesn’t translate to making the huge dollars doing something that would make me miserable. It can be living modestly if it is with someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. Success to me is being happy.

Unfortunately, the media and society in general promote success in different ways. Making a ton of money is one way. Sleeping with as many people as possible is another. Is this an adequate view of what is success? I do not know. I will not knock anyone’s hustle, but I can point to several examples where people had attained both of those goals but were completely miserable. I have seen firsthand what financial obsession can do to a family as well.

I think what I am trying to get at here is to evaluate what is really important. Greed is good, but don’t let it define who you are as a person.

Alex Mangie
The Mang

College Shakeup: Potential Super-Conferences on the Rise

It has finally happened. Colorado is officially making the move from the Big 12 to the PAC-10. Nebraska has done everything but officially come out and say they are moving to the Big 10 from the Big 12 (and was actually reported on Y103 this morning that it has actually occurred which is not accurate), with an announcement expected sometime today or early next week.

Is this the end for the Big 12?

There have been reports that if Colorado and Nebraska make the move, then Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State would move to the PAC-10, practically dissolving the Big 12 conference. The remaining schools would be Iowa State, Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, and Baylor. These schools will need to align with a conference somewhere, particularly Kansas.

This would create a super-conference in the PAC-10 comprised of some of the best football programs in the nation. If that happens, I cannot see the Big 10 just settling for a 12 team conference. It almost forces the Big 10 into expanding, and the Big 10 will probably take another look at Missouri down the line if what is expected at the PAC-10 comes to fruition.

Also, it raises a question about the SEC, because the conference has been very quiet in regards to all of this. Geographically, it makes more sense for Texas and Texas A&M to join the SEC. Also, SEC teams typically have bigger TV contracts than the PAC-10 (ESPN reports that the typical contract for an SEC team is $205 million compared to a $58 million contract in the PAC-10). There are already rumblings about Texas A&M considering the SEC as an alternative to the PAC-10, and I would not be surprised if the SEC begins making contact with Texas.

Big 10 options—Remnants of Big 12 and looking at the Big East

If the PAC-10 expands further than Colorado, the Big 10 should (and probably will) expand further than just Nebraska. They have several options to consider, one of which will involve Notre Dame.

The Big 10 can consider forcing the collapse of the Big East by approaching West Virginia, Pittsburgh, and Cincinnati, in hopes that it would force Notre Dame into joining the Big 10, bringing the number of Big 10 schools to 16 (supposing Nebraska comes through). It would be risky, because I am not sure if Pittsburgh, WVU, and Cincinnati would be a good fit for the Big 10, though academically they are a good fit. However, you have the chance of picking up the coveted Notre Dame program.

The Big 10 can also choose to look west and pick up Missouri. I think Missouri would be a good fit in the Big 10, both geographically and academically. The Big 10 can also consider bringing Kansas into the fold. It would preserve the rivalries between MU, Nebraska, and Kansas. Additionally, they can still look to pick up a school like West Virginia or Pittsburgh, in hopes Notre Dame would still be in play. If the Big 10 can pick up one Big East school, it might force a collapse of the Big East program notwithstanding, as it is already a weakened conference.

I am in favor of the second alternative, because geographically with 16 teams, you can make two divisions: Big Ten West and Big Ten East. Chances are this would be the last expansion of the Big 10, and if they are sitting on 15 teams, the pressure is going to be on for Notre Dame to join and be number 16. It would be enticing because Kansas, Pittsburgh, and WVU tend to have decent basketball programs, and Notre Dame would benefit in both respects.

The Mang

Arizona Rising--The Front Line for Real Immigration Enforcement

In effort to reassert the authority of the states, in upholding what is in fact a federal law, Arizona has passed what is broadcasted as a “controversial law” in regards to illegal immigration. It is not entirely dissimilar from the federal law, perhaps less stringent in certain aspects. But nonetheless, Arizona’s answer to a poorly planned federal approach to immigration policy has met widespread criticism from those on the left that are quick to make the issue about race rather than upholding the current laws.

Unfortunately, it is out of necessity this law was created because the Obama Administration has failed to take action in securing the borders. It is one thing Obama has in common with Bush—inability to follow the law on immigration policy and failure to take the necessary steps in securing the borders.

Before going any further, let us address the issue of racial profiling. Mexico is a Latin American country. Hence, illegal aliens are going to be of Latin American descent. So, naturally, if there is going to be an illegal immigrant in Arizona, 99.9% of the time it is going to be someone who is Latin American. That is not making a racist statement. That is the reality of the location and situation. Arizona’s law discourages racial profiling, but if it would please the far left, Arizona should make it mandatory that EVERY person pulled over or questioned for lawful cause must show proof of citizenship.

The real question is who benefits from opposing Arizona’s new legislation? Could it be certain individuals are seeking votes? I believe that to be as true under Bush as it is under Obama. It could be certain groups want open borders. Hate to break it to those groups, but few countries have an open border policy for non-citizens. Sorry to rain on the parade for those people, but that is the law here in the U.S. No open borders.

Why would Arizona pass this law? Kidnappings are the highest in the nation in Phoenix as a result of the illegal immigration situation. Murders are on the rise in the state. There are a fair amount in the prison system that is costing the state money that otherwise would not have to be spent to house these illegals.

Arizona should be applauded for trying to do something, rather that ostracized for political motivations. The same cities like San Francisco that welcome illegal immigrants under the banner of a “sanctuary city” are being let free to run amok of things rather than criticized for their failure to follow federal law.

You want to cut money in the federal budget? Cut off federal funding to cities that openly declare they are sanctuary cities and have legislation supporting that stance. If the federal government can cut funding to states that refused to lower their speed limits, they can cut funding to cities that refuse to enforce the federal law. Those cities would shape up in a hurry, but no one has a cajones to do anything about it.

Grow some backbone for God’s sake and do what is right and lawful rather than pandering to the far left and using race as the be all and end all excuse for doing or not doing something. Race is the excuse for everything anymore, and as an argument it is growing old fast. No, it is already old and cliché and those using race as a criticism for everything people do not agree with need to get a new line.

This is not that difficult folks. Mr. President, do your damn job and enforce the law.

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown