Why So Serious? A Cynic's Point of View

People say I am too cynical. That is an interesting observation. Someone famous once said “I’m not cynical, I’ve been in a very bad mood for the last 40 years!” Kidding aside, I do not believe people are naturally cynical. I think all people start out as optimists; just contributing circumstances can at times make people question life.

Half the time I feel like I am diving into the shallow end of the pool, expecting there to be more to people and half expecting them to have some kind of substance behind their lives and attitudes aside from the complete superficial, take-no-prisoners-step-on-anyone-to-the-top ambition, and nasty dispositions. People today are a lot nastier than they used to be in case you haven’t noticed, but I think popular culture has given the impression that it is okay and in fact encouraged to treat people like shit—like this is now the new norm.

And alas, every time I dive into the pool expecting something different, I realize the second that I dive in that I made a mistake as my head slams against the concrete.

Unfortunately, it seems like there is no deep end of the pool, but rather the whole damn pool is shallow. You would think after the first handful of skull fractures that you would realize and accept that life and people are naturally this way: mean spirited and shallow. I am really tired of seeing the inner good in someone just to be completely wrong in the end. Or maybe I am not wrong, just sometimes that good is buried deep within a façade that cannot be broken through.

And yet, some part of me still thinks there is some good out there somewhere, which is why I keep cracking my damn head on reality every time I do something, whatever that may be. There are glimmers of hope, but my overall impression of people generally has hit an all time low.

I am not in a bad mood ladies and gentlemen. I am just unimpressed with where things have headed. I am not perfect—some of you have more than pointed that out, some of you have made a long list of everything that is wrong with me. I am not unaware of those things, I am a bigger critic than all of you combined, do not mistake that either.

I am not cynical. I am just let down. If that makes me a cynic, so be it. Most people will not get this article, but to my friends who do read it, I hope you understand.

Alex

Of New Year's Eve and 2011 Excellence

After giving it some serious thought, I have decided that when I start working again next week, I am going to dedicate $20 of each paycheck to what I am dubbing “Alex’s New Year’s Fund”. In fact, I plan on opening a new savings account for this designated purpose. So by starting work on January 10th I could plan on having roughly $1,000 at the end of the year, allowing me to fulfill my ultimate goal: get the hell out of Youngstown, OH for New Year’s. With my trusty Priceline account, I am sure I could get a decent room somewhere for a few days and still have enough for food and cover charges into bars that are actually, well, fun and most importantly, not here.

Due to a lack of steady work over the last year, this dream has not been realized, but assuming the stars continue to be aligned correctly, this issue has been resolved. I am looking forward to returning to work.

Let me say that I am not a fan of New Year’s Eve, nor really a fan of New Year’s Day. But putting present circumstances into perspective, it may not be because of the actual day rather than the lack of a good experience here at home. Here in Youngstown, I cannot recall a single outstanding New Year’s Eve where I have thought “You know, this was an awesome time and I can’t wait until next year to do it again”. The whole experience here has been mediocre at best and could explain why I dread the thought of it every year. It almost catches you up in the reality that because the experience sucks you don’t want to go out, but if you stay at home you feel even worse for it. And if you are single, God have mercy on you. Let the day end quick.

New Year’s may be phenomenal someplace else though and that fact has not escaped me, which is why I am putting together this separate savings fund. It may be a rip roaring time somewhere else, and in light of the fact this is probably 100% true, I have no intention of being here next New Year’s Eve, nor any New Year’s Eve subsequent to 2011.

But 2011 is now here, ending a rather unusual but moderately successful 2010. Here’s to better times, a successful, healthy, and fruitful new year, and a big boot to the ass of all that went wrong last year. I know I made several mistakes that I am not going to repeat again, and I hope that whatever mistakes you made you will consider making some adjustments as well. 2010 brought a lot of good, but realistically, it was a giant pain in the ass despite havings its moments.

We are all human, but as always, there is no accounting for taste.

Have a happy and most excellent 2011 everyone!

The Mang
Conservative Capo of Youngstown